This Week at the Movies

August is, in many ways, the worst month of the year. Summer is ending, school is beginning. It sucks. Usually the movie selection in August does too, but that's not so this year, by the look of things.

August 4th boasts four new wide releases, TALLADEGA NIGHTS, THE DESCENT, THE NIGHT LISTENER, and THE BARNYARD. I'll be telling you whether you need to Do It or Screw It. First up,

For all the success he has had, Will Ferrell has had, um, what's the word I'm looking for...not success? For every OLD SCHOOL (good) he's made, there's been a KICKING AND SCREAMING (not good), every ELF a BEWITCHED. He's never made a funnier movie than ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY though. Honestly, I've never laughed harder or longer than I did at ANCHORMAN. TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY features Ferrell doing stupid again, and by the looks of things, it's going to be the funniest movie of a pretty lackluster summer. TALLADEGA also features ANCHORMAN director and co-creator Adam McKay at the helm, and another terrific supporting cast featuring John C. Reilly (very underrated), Sacah Baron Cohen (who's had amazing success with his HBO show ALI G IN DA HOUSE), and Michael Clark Duncan, who my friends claim is 'The Best Black Person to Ever Live'. Opens everywhere today.

Final Judgment: DO IT.

I wrote earlier today that I'm not a fan of horror movies. I think I should explain. I love a good horror movie as much as anyone else, but today's cinema shovels out more crappy horror movies than I can count. I hate the crappy, pussied-out ones that go for a PG-13 rating, a natural handicap to any horror movie. This weekend though, THE DESCENT opens. It's being called the scariest movie since ALIEN, which is quite a compliment, considering the HALLOWEEN, SCREAM, NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, and FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH series were made after ALIEN. While I'm not sure if it can hold up to these kind of expectations, another critic said it was the best kind of horror movie, one that gets under your skin, makes you scream in pure fright and sweat in fear for its entire running time. The movie is about a group of teenage girls who go on a spilunking adventure in a series of caves, and find something truly scary while on their trip. Think THE CAVE, but, um, scary. Piss-your-pants levels of scary from the looks of things. Opens everywhere today.

Final Judgment: DO IT.

Robin Williams has had an up-and-down career. When he's up, he can't get much higher, winning an Oscar for his Supporting Role in GOOD WILL HUNTING, being nominated for another in GOOD MORNING VIETNAM, starring as the titular role in MRS. DOUBTFIRE, which really put him in the elite class among American Comedians, and giving maybe the best voice performance in the history of animation as The Genie in ALADDIN. When his career gets to the low points, they really aren't that low, just mediocre. He hasn't had a real hit since 2002's INSOMNIA, which was a hit because of Al Pacino's performance and Christopher Nolan's direction moreso than it was Williams' part. THE NIGHT LISTENER stars Williams as a radio talk-show host who forms a bond with a young caller named Pete, and then must dig into a deep mystery to find out whether or not Pete actually exsists. Toni Collete (the kid's mom in THE SIXTH SENSE) co-stars, as some crazy chick. Sigh.

Final Judgment: SCREW IT.

THE BARNYARD is the eighth, yes, the eighth of the twelve, yes twelve CGI animated movies to come out this year. One (CARS) has been great. Two more (OVER THE HEDGE and MONSTER HOUSE) have been good. The other four have been trash really. THE BARNYARD looks like it could take the crown as the worst so far this year (rivaling DOOGAL). It has a voice cast featuring the best of the B-List (Courtney Cox Arquette, Kevin James, Sam Elliot, Wanda Sykes, and Danny Glover). I predict that it will get lost in the shuffle of CARS, which is still making a couple million bucks each weekend, MONSTER HOUSE, which opened two weeks ago, and THE ANT BULLY, which opened last week. That's correct. There have been three CGI movies in the past three weeks. For reference's sake, I'll remind everyone that in the time period between TOY STORY and A BUG'S LIFE, there were Zero CGI flicks. None. For a full three years. The plot is another mind-blower; a group of animals who can talk. How many movies have there been talking animals in the past two years? How many have been funny?

Final Judgment: SCREW IT.