Do it or Screw it, August 18th-20th

You asked for it, planet earth.

If you don't know what this movie is about, read the title, and then re-evaluate the sad situation you call 'your life'. It's snakes, on a plane. It's got Samuel L. Jackson, who has said that he threatened to walk out on the project if executives titled it anything other than SNAKES ON A PLANE.

Seriously, it's not much more than that. Jackson is an FBI agent bringing a witness in a mob case from Hawaii to L.A., via plane (dur). And then guess what those sneaky mob guys do...they unleash a bunch of snakes...on a plane! The best part about the whole movie will probably be hearing Sam say the already-famous line, "I want these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane!"

Basically, go see it, or die.

Final Judgment: DO IT.

Edward Norton and Paul Giamatti (LADY IN THE WATER aside) are two of the best actors working in Hollywood today. They're smart and for the most part pick out good roles. THE ILLUSIONIST sees them squaring off, as a magician (Norton) who may or may not actually be magic and the London officer (Giamatti) trying to bring him down in 1800s-era England. Norton also gets cozy with Jessica Biel, which is also nice to see.

Final Judgment: DO IT (after doing SNAKES)

ACCEPTED is pretty much a twist on a few other concepts seen before. It's about a kid who get's denied from every college he applies for, so he makes his own fake one to keep his parents happy (and in the dark). It backfires though when hundreds of kids somehow get accepted to what's basically an old used office building. He figures the best thing to do is get a dean, and who better than Lewis Black? Oh yeah, the kids pick their own classes, so bikini watch is classified as "Anatomy 101". It doesn't really look back to me, but critics are saying its a VAN WILDER-style comedy movie itching to get an R-rating, but stuck with a PG-13 handicap. Look for a better, raunchier, unrated version of DVD. Until then...

Final Judgment: SCREW IT.

Seriously, I'd much rather lick a toilet seat than see this one. There have been some bad movies this year, but if I became possessed by aliens and ended up seeing MATERIAL GIRLS, I'd bet on it taking the crown as the worst of 2006. It stars Hilary Duff and her twin sister, who must have gotten punched in the nose repeatedly by a very large man, as guess what, two rich sisters. Poor things, they lose everything though, and even have to get jobs. It must be hard having to work for your money. They probably either get their money back in the end, or learn the value of working for what you get, or both. Seriously, screw this movie.

Final Judgment: SCREW IT.