Eldridge v. Kutcher, an Analysis

In one corner, Keegan Eldridge, in the other, Ashton Kutcher.

What would seem like a very unlikely comparison is actually, at second glance, anything but. One is a sixteen-year-old junior in high school, Lake Region High School to be exact, the other a 28-year-old 1996 graduate of Clear-Creek Amana High School of Homestead, Iowa. One drums, the other earns millions for roles in television such as THAT 70S SHOW and films such as THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT, DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?, and THE GUARDIAN. One runs and does Erin Rowbotham, one um, uh, well I don't know what he does except Demi Moore. Yes, that Demi Moore.

It would seem that these two squires share no similarities. On the contrary, says this writer. Several affinities are present in both of these gentlemen, most notably of the physical attributes. The sleek jawline, the skinny (bony, even?) frame, the runner's body, and the sick 'burns can be seen on both Mr. Eldridge and Mr. Kutcher.

This debate will not end by the conclusion of this entry. It will no doubt rage on in many different societal levels for the next several decades, even centuries perhaps. Who is better looking? Why is that? I am afraid that a true ending to this discussion may never take place.