25TH HOUR

"Champaigne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends."

Fuck you.

This could be the single best scene of the 21st century so far. It's certainly the best from 25TH HOUR, a very hit-and-miss 'joint' from Spike Lee. It's a five-minute scene in which Monty Brogan (a solid Edward Norton, as always) rants about the things the have made his heart black throughout his life, in front of the mirror. Monty is about to go to jail for seven years for dealing drugs, and he is afraid. He is not afraid of missing seven years of his life and possibly losing all emotional connections with his girlfriend Naturelle (Rosario Dawson), his father (Brian Cox), and his two best friends (Barry Pepper and Philip Seymour Hoffman). In the rant he vents about everything that has affected the choices that have made him end up face life in a cell. The last line of the rant, though, sees Monty face the reality of his situation:

No. No, fuck you, Montgomery Brogan. You had it all, and you threw it away, you dumb fuck!

25TH HOUR is a film of great emotion and at the same time great restraint. It is Monty's last day in the real world, and he wants it to be the best of his life. He and the people around him try not to think of what the future will hold for all of them, but they can not help it. None of their lives have turned out as planned. Monty's mother died, and his father became a drunk (though sobered up). This has affected his father more than Monty, but Monty regrets the decisions he made during his adolesence that saw him be kicked out of school and into the Russian drug ring of New York. Jacob Elinsky (Hoffman) now teaches at the school, and hates himself for having a rich inheritance, as well as being attracted to one of his students (Anna Paquin). Francis Slaughtery (Pepper) regrets not trying to intervene in Norton's actions, and knows he could have made a difference. Naturelle wonders about her and Monty's future.

The conclusion of 25TH HOUR is a very interesting one. As the emotions of all the characters meet a melting point, it seems fitting that there would be a resolution. It doesn't, though. The film is about a middle passage of Monty's life, so it doesn't exactly end. It features one of the great monologues of recent memory as Monty's father thinks about what his son can still do with his life in last day. That makes the true final scene of the film all the more crushing. 25TH HOUR is a film about how the choices we make affect who we are, and it is a film of great emotional power.

A-

Jesus>Chuck Norris?

The weirdest thing you'll read today.

So apparently, Chuck Norris has been getting his Jesus on between Total Gym shoots. He's now a contributing writer for WorldNetDaily.com, which is pretty damn weird in itself. What's even weirder is him talking about the Chuck Norris jokes that have been sweeping the web for about a year now, and then saying:

While I have as much fun as anyone else reading and quoting them, let's face it, most "Chuck Norris Facts" describe someone with supernatural, superhuman powers. They're describing a superman character. And in the history of this planet, there has only been one real Superman. It's not me...

There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.

If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood.

Yes, Chuck Norris fucking wrote that.

THE PRESTIGE

"Are You Watching Closely?"

Going into THE PRESTIGE, I was, in a word, skeptical. It sounded pretty boring on paper; two magicians whose relationship becomes increasingly heated, to the point of murder. It just didn't seem to have the intrigue that Director Chistopher Nolan's most recent three movies (MEMENTO, INSOMNIA, and BATMAN BEGINS) all shared. I was wrong.

THE PRESTIGE is a tour-de-force of great acting and great storytelling. Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale slug it out as magicians Rupert Angier and Alfred Borden in late-19th century London. Their partnership quickly turns to a rivalry after Borden carelessly ties messes up an act in which Angier's wife is killed in. The rivalry escalates over several years, and both men find that they are not just trying to become better magicians, but that they're both obsessed with one-upping the other, no matter what stands in their way.

If there has been a single re-occuring element throughout all of Nolan's films, it is the de-construction of criminally-hardened minds. Whether it be superheros, cops, killers, amnesiacs, or magicians, Nolan has been consistently able to break down his characters, and show the actions and emotions that lead them to the place where they are. He does so in an interesting and complex way, with much of the help coming from his masterful editing skills. He uses a non-linear time frame, similar to the method he used in his breakthrough MEMENTO to warp time and make his story all the more interesting. The film spans years, but it is barely noticable because of how tightly the pace of the story runs at.

The story is complemented by a realistic and transcending portrayal of 19th-century London (and in a few segments, Colorado Springs, Colorado). Cinematographer Wally Pfister has shot Nolan's past three films, and each has had its own visual feel. While last year's BATMAN BEGINS was lauded for the most part because of the dark, eerie, true-to-the-material look that was overhauled from Joel Schumaker's vision in the 90s by Pfister, the cinematography for THE PRESTIGE is even better. The story is dark, sometimes very bleak, and the visual aspect of the film is as well. Nathan Crowley, who designed the BATMAN'S Gotham City last year, presents a beautifully cold vision of London, with attention to detail that is rare in period pieces in this day and age, especially for such a modest price tag as the $40 million that went into this film.

As is the case with most great movies though, the technical aspects only support and enhance the story, not dominate it. Borden and Algier's bloody rivalry is not always easy to watch, probably because neither of them are 'good guys' in the traditional sense, both commiting atrocious acts that shake up how the audience feels toward them. Their love interets, Borden's wife Sarah (Rebecca Hall) and lover Olivia (Scarlett Johannson), as well as Angier's wife, the spark plug for the rivalry, act as a measuring stick as to how far down into the depths of obsession, paranoia, and insanity the two men dare to take their murderous acts to.

Overall THE PRESTIGE is one of the best films of the year. It is excellent in every technical aspect, and Christopher Nolan has told another exciting story with a great cast all giving great performances.

A

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING, EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH

In THE BEGINNING, we the general masses of moviegoers are exposed to the filthiest dregs of American cinema. It's god-awful cinema, and it revels in it. Every cliché that has ever been overcooked and overdone in horror movies is on display here. The scenario is basically the same as the 2003 version that was only saved by Jessica Biel's gorgeousness: a maniacal giant of a man runs around slaughtering a group of stupid teenagers, who we really don't care about after they've been mutilated. This time around we learn that Leatherface was actually bullied as a child after being adopted by the local freaks. Flash-forward to the late 1960s and Leatherface and his adoptive father (R. Lee Emery), who has killed the sheriffs in his own maniacal binge, have kidnapped four kids on a road trip, planning to torture and mutilate them. Sounds fun and bubbly, no?

I hate these movies. I hate the entire slasher genre, and I can't help but think of them as anything other than the worst aspect of film. The characters are throw-away level, as is the plot. The violence is repetive, boring, and ugly. It doesn't entertain me, and for anyone it does entertain, I'd say pick out some good movies to watch.

F

Dane Cook is pretty damn funny. Jessica Simpson is pretty damn attractive. That's what confused me though, because EMPOYEE OF THE MONTH isn't funny, and the brilliant minds behind it aren't even able to make The Diva look good. Everyone involved in the project is either too bored (Cook), too depressed-looking (Simpson), or too weird (Dax Shepard, Andy Dick, Harland Williams-who coincidentally seems to make every movie he's in worse) to like or care for. It's basially about two guys who work at a crappy little Wal-Mart knock-off department store, who try to get in to Jessica Simpson's pants. One is the loser who has spent his whole life being crappy at everything but is supposed to be a nice guy (Cook), the other is the arrogant prick that gets everything he wants (Shepard). They find out that Simpson likes to get down with the Employees of the Month, so they both Go For The Gold. Guess who wins. Sigh.













"Damn, they really did make her ugly!

C-

MEMENTO

"You know, I can remember so much. The feel of the world... her."

MEMENTO is a triumph. It is cinematic bliss; a strikingly original, complex story about a complex man, who has a complex problem. It defies all conceivable restraints presented throughout the history of film, especially a story told in linear fashion. Christopher Nolan displays a genius eye, made even more remarkable by his being a first-time director. His original screenplay is an explosive piece of genius, daring to tell its story in a way that has almost never been told before.

Guy Pearce plays Leonard, a man who suffers from a rare disorder that doesn't allow his brain to make any new memories. This disorder happened the night that two men broke into his house, raping and killing his wife. He remembers everything from before the accident; who he is, old memories, instincts, feelings, preferences. Since the night when the men took away his entire life, he has been on a hell-bent mission to catch the bastards and kill them, dispite sometimes closing his eyes, and not knowing where he is or why he is there when he opens them.

Leonard saves pictures in his coat pocket and tattoos the most important details on to his body. He is really unable to trust anyone, simply because he does not remember who they are. The two people who help him out the most, Natalie (Carrie-Anne Moss) and Teddy (Joe Pantoliano) may, or may not, be the most dangerous people in his life.

As Leonard, Guy Pearce is a revelation. His performance is a bravado piece of greatness, a performance that matches its character in terms of depth and complexity. He does not quite know when to be angry, innocent, open, closed, or when to suspend his feelings of disbelief. Pearce goes through every emotion needed for the role, and more, in an effective narrative. As the film progresses the audience figures out why everything has happened, even though Leonard has not.

As the story progresses backwards, it becomes more complicated and more intense. This is a testament to Nolan's surprisingly sharp directorial skills. The audience knows how the movie ends, because it is presented in the opening scene. As the clues fall in place in terms of how the ending happened, the story becomes more and more fascinating. I have never experienced a story in which the climax is revealed first, but somehow the energy and emotion felt during the climax is able to be carried throughout the story's entirity. For that reason, as well as many others, MEMENTO is a mesmerizing masterpiece.

A+

50, 50 Link

Worst Review Ever

Scorsese Rounds Up the Usual Nihilistic Suspects
by Scott Holleran

Bloody and unbowed, director Martin Scorsese's mob picture The Departed is vigorous, character-driven and punctuated with action. In fact, it's so eager to please that it's tempting to forget that Mr. Scorsese's latest is high camp horror nihilism with an all-star cast.

In other words, it mirrors today's culture, which is why it collapses for any but the most infected cynic halfway through the barrage of blarney and blood. Jack Nicholson's Irish mobster spits the picture's theme early in the game: "woopdeef—-in' 'do."

There it is in the vein of hyper-vitriol in which everyone (just men, really) is royally ticked off at reality and no one considers it necessary to explain why. Certainly not Mr. Nicholson's Vladimir Lenin-lookalike mob boss, who looks like he flew over the cuckoo's nest, had a few too many and nose-dived to the pavement, dragging his splattered remains across Boston, where this caper takes place.

Though he steadies himself in the presence of Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio as cat and mouse undercover agents, Mr. Nicholson is simply overdone, like something out of a John Waters movie. He eats insects, drips blood, dives into bed with a pair of lesbians and comes up with an opera-listening Baby Boomer who wears t-shirts, reads Tom Clancy and twaddles around looking ridiculous.

He robs the movie of momentum and realism whenever he's given the chance, which is every five minutes or so. Everyone else including Damon, Alec Baldwin, Mark Wahlberg and Martin Sheen postures according to type, spitting out vulgar lines like they just discovered their first swear word, calling one another 'faggot' and blowing each other's brains out until it can be figured out just who's snitching on whom—the mob or the police and there is not one sliver of difference.

But even if one can accept that criminals and punishers walk around talking in run-on sentences, it's fairly clear where this is going and that it's designed to be another long, pointless exercise in the idea that values are undefinable and unachieveable. The closest thing to a character worth caring about is the young tough played by Mr. DiCaprio in The Departed's best performance.

The dual track of two men caught between the forces of good and evil holds steady attention—until one catches on to the writers' notion of what constitutes both. As Mr. DiCaprio's good cop slips into a drug-induced oblivion, Damon's bad cop flinches and, for a moment, everything's up for grabs, and one waits to see who will wind up in a pool of blood and who will double-cross during the multiple showdowns, including one surrounding a red Chinese weapons deal. What ultimately happens is more a trick than a legitimate twist.

Finally, with Mr. Nicholson baring buck teeth and chomping on a fly, The Departed departs a credible universe, leaving the filthy fecal matter of yet another movie, though carefully measured and polished by Martin Scorsese, about nothing.

Fuck you Scott Hollerman. You and your idiot little brain.

THANK YOU FOR SMOKING

"Michael Jordan plays ball, Charles Manson kills people, I talk."

In 1994 Christopher Buckley published a hell-blazing novel entitled THANK YOU FOR SMOKING, which satirized the tobacco industry. Tobacco was a huge issue at the time and was a very relevant topic of discussion amidst American society.

Fast-forward twelve years and the novel has been turned into a film with the same name. Aaron Eckhart stars as the head lobbyist for Big Tobacco, Nick Naylor. Naylor meets with the two other members of the MOD (Merchants of Death), Polly Bailey of the Alcohol Industry and Billy Jay Bliss of the Firearms Industry (Maria Bello and David Koechner), to talk about whose products kill more people per year and thus have the largest societal impact. Naylor’s product wins by a long shot, and he is not incorrect when he says cigarettes kill 1,200 Americans per day.

Naylor’s moral problem is that after he argues (and wins) about the shockingly high death rate of the product he is pitching, he must go home to his thirteen-year-old son Joey (Cameron Bright) and bring him up to be the best man. Naylor says he is torn over this, as he expresses his troubles to his ex-wife as well as revealing perhaps too much information to a young reporter trying to cash in her chips via a muckraking article on the tobacco business (Katie Holmes). I had trouble believing him or relating with him because Eckhart’s facial expressions throughout the entire film seemed to range from a toothy, giddy grin to a smug grin. Eckhart might as well have thrown on a bathrobe instead of a $1000 suit, because he sleepwalks through the role.

While the plot is not particularly moving, it is not entirely unentertaing either. Most of the supporting characters (the cast also included JK Simmons, Robert Duvall, Rob Lowe, Sam Elliot, and William H. Macy) are funny, witty, and interesting, and a few jokes really hit the spot. Where first-time writer/director Jason Reitman took the wrong step was when he adapted a satirical book into a film where the relevance of the satire was pretty much gone. When the Master Settlement Agreement was signed in 1999 and the four biggest tobacco companies paid out nearly a quarter billion dollars to the American people, most of the eyes that had any intention of learning about this subject were opened.

C+

GOODFELLAS

“For a second I thought I was dead. But, when I heard all the noise, I knew they were cops. Only cops talk that way. If they'd been wiseguys, I wouldn't have heard a thing. I would've been dead.”

GOODFELLAS is the first disappointment I have experienced from the little project. It is a rich, loud, explosive film, but it is hollow. I was not expecting it to be as polar as it is, the first half being a grand, luscious look at the rise of a series of mobsters in New York City in the 1950s and 60s (Ray Liotta, Robert De Niro, and Joe Pesci). Scorsese was obviously going for a dichotomy of sorts in the film, wanting one half to be the rise of a gangster and the other half his imminent fall. The way it plays out, though, is cartoonish and overlong.

GOODFELLAS is based on the real-life account of former gangster Henry Hill (Liotta), who says "As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a gangster." The film opens explosively, with a mob hit involving Henry, Jimmy Conway (De Niro) and Tommy DeVito (Pesci), and quickly transitions back to New York City in the mid-1950s. Henry grows up quickly and makes his way up the mafioso food chain, becoming almost brothers with Jimmy, Tommy, and Paul Cicero (Paul Sorvino), the Godfather.

There is no shortage of energy in GOODFELLAS at any point, but its beginning is at a level of buzzing movement rarely seen in film. Peter Travers described Scorsese’s GANGS OF NEW YORK as “more than perfect: stunningly alive”. This is how I would describe the ninety minutes or so of GOODFELLAS. It is Martin Scorsese’s show, and he flexes his directorial muscles with a flair that he had never done before and has never duplicated since, even in better films such as RAGING BULL and THE DEPARTED. His mixing of period music, bloody, graphic violence, and larger-than-life performances is thrillingly entertaining. The introduction of Henry’s wife Karen (Lorraine Bracco) and the effects of the dealings of mafia life give the film its most personal note. She relates her feelings through narration, and Scorsese balances the narration of Karen simultaneously with that of Henry’s masterfully, making his story even more involving and interesting.

It is when Henry starts his downward through drugs and adultery that the wheels start to fall off of GOODFELLAS. The interesting, sprawling, complex becomes overwhelmed with that of only Henry and Karen’s drug use. Perhaps it was Scorsese and Henry Hill’s (they co-wrote the screenplay) attempt to show the film’s audience the effects of drug use on the human psyche, and how even gangsters get messed up by them. I thought it brought a flatness to the film that it didn’t need it, and it was an unnecessary, overlong sequence of events that could have been used to show other aspects of the mob. In short, much of the verve and energy of the first half is gone in the second, as the story isn’t as widespread and consequently less interesting in the concluding hour.

B

50, 50 Link

Oh Well, We Had a Good Year...

But most good things must come to an end. The Yankees lost their third straight playoff game to the Tigers of D-Town yesterday, and in so doing ended their season. It's kind of odd to me how we overcame to much as a team over the course of the year and it all means nothing so quickly. Next year doesn't look to be any more hopeful, as Mike Mussina, Gary Sheffield, and Bernie Williams (a true-and-blue Yankee his entire career) are all free agents and likely won't be picked up. Randy Johnson and Jared Wright have both proven to be busts in Yankee uniforms in my eyes, and I can see one, if not both of them being let go next year, even though both have another year on their contract. A-Rod could also be on the chopping block, and as much as I like him, I wouldn't mind seeing us get a couple very good pitchers as well as a young third baseman for him. The thing that saddens me the most, though, is that Joe Torre could be packing his bags. He has lead his teams to nine straight division titles but hasn't gotten the real job done since 2000. If this is the end of Joe's rope, I just want to tip my hat. Mr. Torre is a great manager and an even greater man.

Until Spring Training '07.

THE DEPARTED

"When I was your age, they would say you could become cops or criminals. What I'm saying is this: When you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?"

Martin Scorsese has had plenty of success directing crime-based films. MEAN STREETS, TAXI DRIVER, GOODFELLAS, CASINO, and GANGS OF NEW YORK are all exemplary looks at crime from different perspectives, with different points being addressed to its viewer. THE DEPARTED is Scorsese's best film, crime drama or not, since GOODFELLAS, and in many ways it is better than his 1990 saga.

THE DEPARTED tells a complex story of undercover police work in Boston, Massachusetts. Leonardo DiCaprio, in his third straight Martin Scorsese film, plays Bill Conigan, a cop assigned to go deep undercover in crime lord Frank Costello's syndicate (Costello is played by Jack Nicholson). Colin Sullivan (Matt Damon) plays for both teams as well, as a police officer/informant for Costello. These three leads are surrounded by a phenomenal supporting cast including Mark Wahlberg, Martin Sheen, and Alec Baldwin, all of who play other cops assigned to the case.

As Conigan, Leo DiCaprio sheds any boyish features and memories unavoidably connected with his TITANIC fame. I thought he was miscast in GANGS OF NEW YORK, and while his portrayal as near-psychotic Howard Hughes in THE AVIATOR was very solid, he was not convincing as a character who aged and matured several years. Here DiCaprio's performance is a tour-de-force, a frenetic ball of pent-up anger and fear, and the results are explosive. Conigan is surrounded by dangerous men who do not blink at violence, and would kill him instantly if his cover is blown. While Conigan tries (often times fruitlessly) to keep his cool, Sullivan seemingly has all the right moves. This is no knock on Damon's performance, though. The role required a much more subdued, contained style of fear, and Damon pulls it off. He hasn't looked as natural in his character's shoes since his turn as the titular character in GOOD WILL HUNTING (a role that he wrote). Nicholson, as always, brings an energy and life to a character that could have just been 'another guy'. While the role was reported ad-libbed and improvised by Nicholson to Scorsese's dismay, I couldn't have found it more intelligent.

As great as the actors are, it is Scorsese's direction that makes this movie as great as it is. His filmography has been filled with paranoids and psychopaths (Travis Bickle, Jake LaMotta, Tommy DeVito) as well as glamorized, stylized looks at crime (GOODFELLAS, CASINO). I don't mean to belittle these films, I am just saying that this is (no pun intended) a departure of sorts for Scorsese. THE DEPARTED is in essence a crime procedural, and he treats it like one. He puts his effort into making the film a story with a really structured plot and realistic characters, and it succeeds because of it. Because he does not structure his characters to be almost carbon copies of previous films (such as Joe Pesci's almost identical roles in GOODFELLAS and CASINO), instead making them deep, complicated, relatable, and original, he has taken a step forward as a director. He also builds up the tension slowly until the climax, which is maybe the most violent and riveting scene he has ever shot as a director. THE DEPARTED is a masterpiece, and the best film of 2006 to this point.

A+